Anna didn’t understand. What had she done wrong? As she looked about the small room she sighed. So plain and bare. No bed or dresser, no window or rug. Just the funny softness all around her and the door. There was a tiny window in it - but there were bars over it. It looked like there was a tiny door which opened and closed on the other side. The soft stuff was even on the door. It was a very odd room she’d been put into. She didn’t know when they brought her here. She must have been asleep, even though she didn’t remember going to sleep.
Anna didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. It was her mother’s fault. Her mother was just being selfish and mean. She’d come home recently with a very fancy baby doll. Anna didn’t see what was so special about it, it made noise, moved and everyone made a big fuss over it. Both her parents seemed to like it very much. Even her father who had never been interested in her baby dolls. Anna had many baby dolls herself, some made noise like her mothers, especially if they wanted to be fed and changed. Mother’s doll was the same, though it moved around more.
Anna wanted to play with the new doll, but when she’d tried to grab its arm to lift it up, both her mother and the doll made loud noises. The doll felt squishy, not firm like her dolls. What use was such a doll? How could you play with it if it couldn’t sit in a chair for tea or ride on her hobby horse? But her mother refused to let Anna near the doll or even hold it afterward.
How very greedy to not share her new doll. When Anna’s cousins used to come over she was told to share her toys with them. Mother spent so much time fussing over her new doll, she wouldn’t come an have tea with Anna anymore. When she asked her father, he looked at her strangely.
Anna had also gotten angry at the new doll. Her mother didn’t turn it off at night which meant it cried loudly, waking everyone up. After being disturbed three times, Anna went to her parents room. Her mother was carrying the doll as she rocked it. Her father wasn’t there. Anna glared at her mother as hummed a song. Then she turned her back, and Anna couldn’t see what her mother was doing from the door. Why didn’t she turn it off when she put it away at night? And why was her mother turning the sewing room into a bedroom for it to sleep in? Was her mother going to add more new dolls to the room? Why not just have a storage box or a shelf to put it on like she had? Such a waste, where was her mother going to sew now?
Anna even asked her mother when she would make her a new dress. Her mother had shook her head, saying she was too busy now and Anna had plenty of dresses in her closet. Then she’d gone off to play with her new doll when it started to make noise again. Anna thought her mother was very rude. Her father was even worse. He told her she had to be nice to the new baby. He told her she was not to harm her new baby brother. Anna was a big sister now and would need to protect the baby. Anna was shocked when he told her the doll was not a toy. It was a special gift and was part of their family. Was he crazy? It was dumb. A baby doll was a toy, except those in the museum. Although Anna thought those were a waste too. They were worthless if you couldn’t touch them or play with them.
Besides, what was a brother or sister? Anna never asked for one and she certainly had enough dolls who were much better behaved than her mother’s. It fussed, cried and even smelled bad. Plus her mother fussed over it all the time. When Anna put her baby dolls to bed they did not wake her up several times at night. She didn’t play with them all the time either, yet they didn’t seem to mind. But her mother seemed to like her new doll better than anything. Anna had only wanted to see what was so special about the odd doll which had everyone acting so oddly towards her. But it was hard to find it alone, without anyone near by watching over it. But she’d finally found it in the sewing room the other afternoon. The room was all blue now, with a large basket like thing where her mother had lay the doll in. It was strange looking, but at least she could reach it. The crib pieces were against the wall since her father was still working on setting it up.
Anna had only gotten into her room with the baby doll and sat on the rug with it. It was a lot heavier than she’d expected. It must have a lot of motors inside cause it wiggled a lot and grabbed at her. But it was still noisy too, and Anna didn’t know how to turn it off. She noticed it seemed bigger than it had been before. Did it somehow get bigger when you fed it? None of her dolls did that. Anna noticed the eyes looked different from her dolls eyes, plus they were moving around too.
Just then her mother came into the room and she looked at Anna with her eyes all wide with fright. Her mother’s shout made the baby doll jump. Then her mother quickly snatched the doll away as it started to cry, running from Anna’s room screaming for her father.
He came into her room to ask her why she’d taken the baby, which they had started to call Jon into her room. Anna told him she only wanted to play with her mother’s doll for a while. She had even left one of her very best baby dolls in place its place. When her father told her Jon wasn’t a doll and she couldn’t just take him like that. Anna got mad.
She told her falther her mother never played with her any more because she was always playing with her doll now. Anna wanted to know why it was so special and was tired of everyone being so weird. It was just a toy. Why did they seem to like it more than her now. Her father just stood there and stared at her. It was very rude and made her feel funny in her tummy. She didn’t remember much after that, she’d laid down on the rug when her father walked out of her room. Anna wasn’t sure but she thought he’d come back and picked her up. Or maybe it was someone else…
A doctor came into the funny room see her after little while and he brought Anna her favorite doll too. It was a very proper thing for him to do, she thought. If mother wasn’t going to share, she should have given back Anna’s doll. But her mother had not come back to see her and she didn’t know where her father had gone. The doctor asked her odd and funny questions. Anna didn’t understand what he was talking about. It was like all those questions she’d been asked before. They made no sense. He too said the baby doll her mother had was her baby brother. He said she was his big sister. Anna told him she had plenty of sisters then, since she had at least ten other dolls. He told her the doll her mother had was not a toy, it was a real baby. Telling Anna she had been a baby too.
Anna found what he said to be very funny. She laughed. Then she told him she wasn’t a baby doll, cause that would be silly. She had never been a doll. She was just herself. When he asked her if she remembered being small. Anna shook her head. She’d only ever been as she was. She was a girl, but baby dolls were toys to be played with. How could she have been a doll?
The doctor talked softly and smiled at her. But his eyes seemed very sad. Anna tried to answer his questions as best as she could, but they seemed crazy. Anna wanted him to be happy because he had brought back her doll for her. The doctor told her the baby could have been hurt when she took it. But Anna shook her head as she showed him her doll. They don’t get hurt and they don’t do anything she told him. Though there were expensive dolls which could do more. Anna told him her mother’s doll moved a lot. It had been heavy when she tried to lift it, so it must have lots of motors inside of it. It also made a lot of noise and was squishy. Anna asked him why her mother didn’t turn it off or take out the batteries at night so it would be quiet. The doctor shook his head. Anna told him it was really rude of her mother to disturb everyone’s sleep at night with her doll. Even her father had not taken the batteries out which confused Anna. He’d done so with one of her dolls when he got upset at the noise. He’d been trying to take a nap he said, and it was too loud for him to sleep.
The doctor sat down on a chair he’d brought with him and a notebook he wrote in as they talked. But all the talking was making her tired and she soon lay down on the strange floor. With her doll in her arms she yawned. Anna told the doctor she was sorry for taking her mother’s doll. If it was so special she didn’t want to play with it anymore. She was still mad her mother for liked the doll more than her. Anna hopped her mother would get tired of it and put it away. Then maybe her family would stop being strange. They would all laugh and play together again. The doctor gave her a smile as he got up, he took the chair with him he left. Anna was too sleepy to care anymore, so she fell asleep.
Anna woke up still in the strange room. Her doll was with her and they were both wearing long white gowns. The material was very soft and there were strange round snaps to keep it closed. There were little fuzzy socks on her feet in pink. When she sat up and looked around the room, there was a little table by the door. It perched on the soft floor and held a closed cup with a spout and a sandwich cut up in four squares. Beside the table was a folded blanket with a small pillow. Her tummy grumbled and Anna scrambled over to the table to pick up one of the squares. It was her favorite, strawberry jam, and cut just like her mother used to do. Anna called out, but no one came. The cup had milk inside which went with the sandwich perfectly. As she ate, she thought about how strange things had turned out.
Anna had been thinking about it. Things had started around the holidays, when people came popping over and being very happy. Her mother had started to get a bigger belly, and Anna had told her she was eating too many treats. But then her mother had stopped playing with her and started going out a lot more. Anna’s grandmother had come by to watch her, sometimes they would play tea time and her dolls join in. But everyone had seemed to be excited and yet, as time went on, they drifted away from her.
Then there was the day when her parents had gone away in a rush. Her cousin Kay came over for a while to keep her company. They had food and she’d shown off her favorite doll to her. But she hadn’t seemed very interested. Anna remembered questions being asked, but she didn’t understand them. They made no sense to her. Once her parents came home again, they had the new doll. Everyone seemed to like it more than her. Was there something wrong with her?
Nonsense. Anna was real, she was a girl and it was crazy to think a toy was more important. But Anna also knew her parents were very angry with her about taking her mother’s doll.
Could this room be a place where people were sent to for punishment? Anna had often been sent to her room for doing things her mother and father told her were bad. Yet she had all her toys and dolls in her room, so Anna didn’t feel so bad staying there. This room was different. Yet is was still comfortable. She only had one doll, but it wasn’t so bad. Anna wondered how long her mother would stay angry.
Anna wished she’d ignored the new baby doll, maybe then no one would have gotten mad. It was really dumb to get all worked up over a stupid toy, she fumed. But then again, maybe it had been really expensive. Anna remembered the special things father had in his room. He’d told her she wasn’t allowed in the den, it was his room. There were a lot of books in the room and tiny ships he told her were not toys. Then what good were they? He said they didn’t float and they were just to look at. Anna thought it was dumb, what a waste of space. He could have put something useful, like more books on those shelves.
Anna was glad she had her favorite baby doll to play with at least. Ignoring the table, she crawled back over to lay down by her doll. If the doctor came back, maybe she could ask him for some books. She wasn’t sure how long she was going to be punished. Maybe someone would come to get her soon. Anna curled up with her doll on the soft floor…and decided to go back to sleep. At least she didn’t have to worry about her mother’s baby doll waking her up with its crying now. Smiling to herself, Anna drifted off to sleep again.
This was a dream, or maybe a nightmare… not sure. But I woke up and wrote it down. I have a dream journal for this reason. I get stuff like this down so I don’t lose it. Although, this was a bit strange.