Dragon Princess

The night had just fallen the time I met her. A soft moonlight covered the earth, bathing all in it’s light. Shining stars glowed high above and a soft breeze caressed all in it’s path.
I had just settled down from a long day of traveling. The fortunes having forced a quick exit and a expenditure of energy to the speed of such. When the distance from those pursuing me was great enough, I traveled a lesser known way in hopes of escape. A way told once to me by a traveling bard, who shivered and glanced behind him as it’s tale he told. A tale of dizzying heights where eagles and other great creatures flew among the clouds surrounding them. Crevasses where crawling things and shadows attempted to grab a unwary traveler. And of a myth, so terrible, but with such beauty that many had died during their admiring of it.
These and other tales he had told, always holding iron in his hand, nervous eyes dancing. One hundred of us began that journey he ended. One hundred strong, brave warriors. But in the end, only I escaped. Not even my harp’s music magic could save them. That night was a restless one for us both. Him for the memories that hunted his last sanity and myself, from the shadows brought forth from his tales. Never did I see them full on, but movement caught from the corner of my eyes. Never before had the sun’s light brought me such joy.
And now I have returned, hunted for a bauble found in a ancient crypt. Yet that explanation fell on deaf ears as greed crept into their hearts. Greed and longing for a golden colored object, shaped like a large heart. First it was gold, silver, land and slaves offered. Than women, social entitlements and fame. Than violence and death poured from their lips which sneered at my dress. But when the first could not buy it and the warriors sent against me were defeated, than the true evilness of their desires showed. First assassin’s dressed in black, mortal men and women who died writhing in the ground. Then the darkness from which I now fled. A black magic, so foul that it destroyed the city which brought it forth after I escaped.
But even as I rejoiced in the good fortune of my providence, fate crueily turned against me once again. For unbeknownst to me, a sizeable group had ridden out of the city after me. Then seeing the destruction if their city and hearing the screams of those left behind, all reason and sanity left them. The only desire held by them, was to seize and kill the one they blamed for it, myself. And so it was with a great haste and fearfulness for my life that I rode hard until I came to this divergence of the way.
Now truly only a fool or a very desperate person would take the path into the mountains after hearing the bards tales. But at this moment, I was both. For though I had heard of terrible dangers before me, that behind me was more real and known. So with a fearful trepidation, I began my journey into the unknown.
It was on the second evening of the journey when she stumbled into my camp. A long hooded cloak his her from my sight, until she fell from the shadows. When I knelt over her, I could see she had a mail armor, which fit her like a second skin. Golden in color, it resembled scales, such as those on the giant lizards from the lowlands. On one hip she wore a short sword, which more resembled a tooth than a sword. While on her other hip, a curved sword. One that reminded me of a claw shown to me by my uncle. He always said it was a dragon’s claw that he had been given for aiding in the beast’s destruction. But All knew him to be a story teller.
As I carried the lady near my small fire, I was amazed at her weight and solid build. My first impression was of a tall but slender woman. But upon picking her up, found her at least 30 lbs heavier but of a solid muscular build. After carrying her near the fire, I pulled back the cloak. On her side there was a wound that had opened back up slightly. Not a healer, I still knew some combat medicine from past fighting. Taking a small portion of honey from my meager store, I mixed it with some fresh ash to make a paste, which I gently covered the wound. Than taking one of my last clean shirts, I made a cover for the poultice and tied it around her.
It was but a short time later that she opened her eyes. And as she looked around, I saw no fear or wonder. It was she had expected everything to be just as she saw them. A smile appeared when her eyes fell upon me. A smile of warmth as if seeing one known for years. And those eyes!! Amber eyes that shined in the firelight. They seemed to see me in everyway possible. As if my very soul was opened for her inspection. Kneeling by the fire, I poured her a cup of the tea I had made.
"Gentle Fem, this will help with the chill of the evening " I told her as I handed the cup to her. Not a word did she speak, instead another brilliant smile was given to me. Her eyes never leaving me.
Yalli thought about this stranger as she slipped her tea. Five others she had net on this trail. Three had given her a wide birth and the other two, well their kind were welcome nowhere. Taking her for a mute they decided to use her for their pleasure. A smile not of joy or kindness crossed her lips. No woman would ever be used by them again. Their screams of terror when she revealed her true form had been joyous to her than. Now not so much, she thought as a shiver down her spine caused her to pull her thin cloak closer.


Would like any feedback on this story. Was told it really was bad

1 Like

It isn’t bad. Just difficult for me to read due to the ways it’s formatted.

I like your hook. I wonder who is “her” and why is she important?

These are nice descriptive words.

Rewrite this bit. It’s grammatically incorrect and threw me off.

Is this around medieval times?

I’d like to know what happened.

I don’t like the music magic sentence. It sounds solemn and serious while this makes it seem happier.

I don’t think this is all that necessary. Well, it’s important I suppose but I really wanna know what happened. I’m likely to skim this.

This is more exposition and stuff but I personally, wouldn’t normally read through all of this and May pick up on a bit of important info

I feel this is important. People might skip this before of the before paragraphs.

Is it 3rd person now? Who’s Yalli? Maybe have this as a journal entry or something.

It could use a little editing, but overall I think it’s very interesting.

If you’d like, I could edit this for you.

Happy writing!

Thank you, but haven’t gotten it done yet. Working on it and several other projects right now. But when I do, would enjoy you to edit them for me. Especially this novelette series

Desitreeti faced the assassin in the dark hallway of the keep. Her narrowed eyes and lazy smile which showed her fangs sent a chill of fear down his spine.
“I know you,” he said attempting to keep his voice from breaking.
“Why would a creature like you care whether that spoiled royal bitch dies or not! Step aside or the assassin league will be hunting you!” Desitreeti smiled even deeper at his words.
“I do not care about the girl, nor do I fear your league. As for you, you are simply a midnight snack.” With a move faster than any human could follow she flung herself upon the assassin. His screams silenced as her fangs sunk deep.

Desitreeti stood before the horde of demons, a chilling smile upon her lips.
“It is time for you to die spawn. The Lords of Hell told us to bring back your head.” the hulking leader of the horde growled at the statuesque woman standing before him.
Throwing her head back, Desitreeti laughed. Then looking at this huge being she stared straight into his eyes. A shiver of fear, a feeling before unknown to this being, slid down his back
“Well than we should begin. I have places to be, and you are delaying me.” she said as she slid her swords from their scabbards.