Just wanted some feedback on the beginning of my new WIP
I quickly threw my hand over my best friends mouth, and shook my head at her. Everyone should know better than to tell the Fey your name, but she had always been quick of tongue and slow on thoughts.
Hey friend, I’ll toss in my two cents. Take or leave it as you please.
If this is the very first line of the story, you might consider giving the best friends name in place of “best friend,” and I don’t believe the comma after mouth is necessary. If you were to change the “best friend” part to her name, you could then replace the “she” with something like “but my best friend had always been quick of tongue and slow of thought.” or something like that.
Only reason I say that is because then you’re introducing the characters name earlier and sort of solidifying them in the readers mind a bit more, while still maintaining that link as best friend. Wish you the best!