When Mom Went to the Moon - Rough Sample

When Mom Went to the Moon

By: David Serra

Mom and I were stargazing that night when we noticed something unusual. A vibrant blue dot appeared in the starry night sky and grew closer towards us. We staggered back in alarm, the dot became larger and was revealed to be some sort of space-elevator. It landed a few feet in front of us and the doors slid open.

A beam of blue light shot out and pulled us both into the elevator. The doors slid closed behind us and the elevators took off into the sky.

“What’s going on?” I asked in a small voice.

We huddled together while we watched through the glass window of Earth rapidly becoming smaller and the moon getting bigger. The elevator descended into the moon’s surface through a crater and came to a landing. There was a murmur of unearthly voices followed by the sound of a ding! The elevators doors slid open and we were treated by a man in a butler’s uniform.

“Mrs. Luanna Clark and your son Ian I presume?” He spoke in a sophisticated voice.

Mom sputtered nonsensically before clearing her throat and asking, “What just happened?”

“We’ve been expecting you, Mrs. Clark. Just down the hall if you please.”

Overcoming her shock, Mom took me by the hand and we both followed him down a long hallway towards a large metal door.

He held up his hand to a scanner panel and the door opened to the scenery of an underground town.

Mom and I tentatively went through the door, “Just towards the bookstore ma’am.”

With those words, the Butler shut the door and led us through town. I gawked at the sight of the moon’s people. They were going through their working lives and only glimpsed at us as we passed them. We continued to follow the butler to an enormous building which had a sign above it that read: LUNARSVILLE BOOKSTORE.

“Right this way if you please.”

“Is this a dream?” I asked.

“No, we need your mother’s help.”

We entered the bookstore and were greeted by countless shelves and walls of different books. The bookstore owner, an old-looking and lean man with glasses approached us.

“Luanna Clark! What a pleasure to meet you!” He spoke in a rather enthusiastic tone.

He led us to an office area and we slowly took our seats across from him at his desk.

“I’ll leave you all be for now.” The Butler said and left.

“How do you all know my name?” Mom demanded.

“Oh, oh allow me to enlighten you. I’m Bernard Trelman, I run this bookstore. I suppose that’s your son?”

He gestured to me, I nodded weakly.

“Well you see Mrs. Clark, Lunarsville is in danger and needs your help.”

“Lunarsville?” Mom asked almost to herself.

“Yes, our town is being attacked by a mysterious beast and we need your help in stopping it.”


That’s a great well-paced story. The dialog flows well. I like it.
One typo:
… we were treated greeted by a man in a butler’s uniform.


One more typo- …back in alarm, as the dot…
Makes the story flow better.

1 Like